“You See Me, I See Through You, You Say Fuck Me, I Say Fuck You”

I watch movies and I wonder why my life isn’t like them – why can’t I live the life of a motion-picture, why can’t I have that fairytale ending? Then I realize that maybe the people producing the movies are just as unhappy as I am, living in some fantasy world. Maybe they make movies to get away, to pretend life is actually that of utopia. They aren’t real, the movies, I mean, they’re just make believe; life, however, is not.

This all brought me to the realization that maybe I won’t need a stranger to make me forget about him and push forward – he made that pretty easy for me already. I bit the bullet, I made a decision. It wasn’t a rash decision. It was a completely well thought out decision and I fully believe it’s the correct one. I’ll see him for the last time this weekend, and then I’ll disappear. He won’t hear from, or see me again… hopefully, he’ll be kind enough to do the same.

Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be. We aren’t meant to be, and that’s the unfortunate truth.

“Don’t Bother Trying To Explain Angel, I Know Exactly What Goes On”

Sometimes life throws you curve balls. You may or may not deserve them, but if you’re lucky enough, these curve balls will be of a positive nature. The other night, I was thrown a particularly positive curve ball and I caught the sucker in the first inning.

It all started out terribly, my day I mean. He fucked up – badly, I was so down, but that little curve ball struck, and by curve ball, I mean my best friend, who single handedly kidnapped me and helped me have the night of my life. We did crazy things, we made rash decisions, and we met some phenomenal people.

It’s funny how surrounding yourself with completely unfamiliar people can be so comforting; they don’t know you, you don’t know them. You can be anyone you want. You aren’t being judged based on your past decisions. You’re viewed based on the now factor; who you are presently, what you believe presently. It’s refreshing. It’s liberating. It brings joy. The other night, I experienced just that. Among all the fucked up things going on in my life, happiness shone through. I felt happy. I feel happy.

I need more nights like that. I need more strangers – one stranger in particular – J. It seems J’s taken an interest to me and I to him. I’m curious to see how things will play out.

I’ve never been one to wait around, he knows that, and it’s not starting now. He kept playing the game, and it looks like I discovered the key to winning – stop playing. It’s time for change.